Alright let’s get into this Real Madrid vs Mallorca breakdown. Woke up early Saturday buzzing for this game – poured myself a massive coffee first thing. Needed fuel to spot the details.
Setting Up My Scouting Mess
Grabbed my beat-up notebook, fired up the TV replay from last night, and had my ancient laptop open for stats pages. Seriously though, why do these stat sites look like they’re from 2005? Annoying as hell.
Rewound Vinícius Júnior’s opening goal like five times. Man, that burst of speed… absolutely murdered the Mallorca right-back. Looked like the poor dude was running in quicksand. Wrote down: “Vini – left side = lava hot. Right-back terrified.”
Spotting Who Actually Showed Up
Spent the whole first half just watching Jude Bellingham roam around. That guy? Everywhere. Seriously. Popping up deep to steal the ball, then suddenly he’s right there in Mallorca’s box. My notes got messy:
- Bellingham: Not human. Engine plus GPS tracker.
- Valverde: Legs made of steel cables. Ran miles. Pressed EVERYTHING.
- Tchouaméni: Quiet but cleaned up SO much messy stuff. Like a vacuum cleaner.
Mallorca? Oof. Watched their whole game plan – basically park ten dudes in a bus in front of goal. Made me yawn. Highlight? That Muriqi dude winning headers against Rudiger – proper battle there. Scribbled: “Mallorca’s plan = destroy flow. Ugly but kinda worked… til it didn’t.“
Tactics Headache Time
Madrid kept trying pretty passing triangles near Mallorca’s box… which mostly bounced off parked legs. Got frustrating to watch. Carlo’s solution? Threw on Brahim Díaz. Instant spark. Dribbler vs tired defenders? Yes please! Made me think “Should he start more often against these bus-parkers?“. Mallorca’s coach? Looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole by minute 70. Only change was swapping one tired defender for another. No plan B. Zero.
Real Life Interrupted My Analysis
Deep in the 85th minute replay? My neighbor starts hammering on the door demanding to borrow my wrench. WTF?! Totally killed my flow. Came back, finished the notes grumpy:
- Madrid: Star power + one flashy sub won it. Bellingham/Vini unstoppable when on.
- Mallorca: Defended okay but offered NOTHING. Like watching paint dry.
Overall? Quality beat the bus. Just. Wish Ancelotti would find faster ways to crack these boring teams open. And Mallorca? Need way more courage. Analysis done… now where’s that damn wrench?
